A place of empowerment and encouragment for teen mothers

Monthly Archives: August 2013

Helping teenage mothers

Tuesday, May 21st, 2013 10:00 PM

 By China Hill


During the month of May, we take the time to celebrate or appreciate our mothers. Whether they raised us while being the sole breadwinners of their homes, guided us into our current careers or modeled for us how to be wonderful mothers, they did it possessing an array of skills needed for the job.

There is, however, a population of mothers today who have not yet acquired these skills, but are still required to do the work — teen moms.

Teenage parenting is tough. Developmentally, teenagers long for freedom and independence. They seek the affirmation of their peers opposed to parents, and they take more risks, not thoroughly reflecting on the consequences of their actions.

Many are concerned with what others think and are often insecure about how others perceive them. Being a parent is hard enough, but when parents operate from the aforementioned framework, it may cause them to make poor choices while significantly hurting their children’s physical and emotional growth.


Think of the parent who longs for freedom, leaving her child with whomever will babysit, or the parent who longs for approval, involving herself in romantic relationships that jeopardize her child’s well-being. Such actions can lead to a new generation of parents who lack the skills needed to help the next.

Nevertheless, teen parenting does not equate to poor parenting. There are many mothers who had their children during high school and who have evolved to be just as self-sacrificing, supportive and capable as those who had their children past 19.

In fact, you might be one of them, and you may have found that due to various factors you made it unscathed and so did your child. A great many teen parents today, however, struggle. They have resolved to bring a life in this world and shape that life in the best way they know how. So how do we teach those who struggle and/or how do teen mothers learn to be good mothers?



Teen moms still need mothering themselves. Parents of teen moms often allow their daughters to make tough decisions alone, thinking, “If she made the big-girl decision to have a child, she should also be able to make the big-girl decisions to raise it.”

Unfortunately, this attitude does not often result in what is best for the baby. Just as 15 year olds need guidance on what to eat and how to study, they will continue to need guidance as they teach their children these things.

Continue to be a part of a teen’s life once she has a child. If you are a teen mom, seek support and guidance from mothers you aspire to be like. Just as new workers seek mentors who can support and assist them with on-the-job demands, teen mothers should receive help from experienced mothers who they can turn to when they need advice about parenting or are feeling overwhelmed.


Parenting classes, articles

At what age should you toilet train your child? What do you do when your child is failing school? Parenting articles and parenting classes are made for questions such as these.

Even older, experienced mothers benefit from articles and classes that teach best practices on raising children. So in addition to studying for U.S. history and world lit, teen moms should also study ways to be a better parent.

For parent tips in print, teen moms may continue to read this monthly column, “Beyond the Textbook”; free parenting news magazines, such as Chicago Parent, found at most libraries; and online parenting information sites like babycenter.com.

Teen parents may also take parenting classes held at Lawndale Christian Health Center. Lawndale provides free parenting classes on topics, such as positive discipline and newborn infant care. Contact them at 872-588-3300 for more information.



While being a teen mom is hard, mothering multiple children is even more challenging. Therefore, teens should take precautions when engaging in acts that may lead to future unexpected pregnancies. This month is National Teen Pregnancy Prevention month, so take advantage of the resources and information on the teen pregnancy prevention site thenationalcampaign.org. This site provides teenagers with information on contraception and gives links to other sites on teen pregnancy prevention.

Finally, if you are a teen mother, do not be discouraged. There are no perfect parents. Although you have skipped the prerequisites, attaining a mothering degree is a result of on-the-job training. Even adult moms make poor choices. Just know that your chances of learning from those choices increase if you are willing to be taught



A lot of things come up when you’re a young mother that you may not always be ready to handle. Being a young mother is like being thrown into a pool of water without knowing how to swim. There are things you must learn and learn fast! Everyone won’t always want to help you out; there are some things that you must do yourself. Below I have listed the best survival tips when it comes to being a young mother. 

Staying Focused: Keeping your mentality is essential when u are a young mother because you will need to have a clear and rational mind especially when are raising your children on your own. Sure you may feel down from time to time, however; you can’t let the negatives in life interfere with the positives; always push forward no matter what.

Don’t lose Yourself: Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you can’t do things you once enjoyed prior to having kids. Take the time to pencil yourself in a special day just for you without the kids so you can pamper yourself. A lot single young mothers seem to forget that it is okay to take a little more time getting dress to go out the house instead of wearing pajamas every where you go. I feel as if you weren’t wearing PJ’s out doors prior to you having kids, don’t start because you should always lead by example.

Lead by Example: Remember your kids are watching your every move so when you teach them right from wrong, make sure that you are actually practicing what you preach. If you had to drop out of school just for the simple fact you were pregnant and could no longer do school while in this state, after you give birth you can always go back to school. If you don’t do it for you, do it for your kids! Show them that you can do anything you set your mind to no matter what obstacles come your way and they will respect you for it.

Financial Support: Everyone needs a little help sometimes and it’s understandable if you reach out to get help from the government. In the helping of you bettering yourself, so you do not always have to depend on that once a month check, just call your local D.E.S (Department of Economic Security) for more information. When you do work, do not over work your body because it is not fair to your child. If you overwork yourself on a daily basis, you will not want to play with them and that will make raising your child difficult.

Don’t get Discouraged: Getting discouraged is one of the biggest mistakes you can make when it comes to raising a child by yourself. Not only will this affect your attitude from day to day, it will also effect how you talk and play with your child. Children have no idea what “problems” are, all they know is how much they love their mother and how to have fun, let them stay in a child’s place. If you have other problems or concerns on your mind, never take them out on your children!

Family Support: If you’re family is willing to be there for you and your child, you’re one of the lucky ones! Don’t take that for granted, however; if you feel as though your family has strayed away from you due to you having a child at a young age, TRY to move past it. The reason I say TRY is because I know how hard it can be to stay strong when you feel as though the whole world is against you. If you’re family isn’t willing to accept your situation, the only thing you can do is keep moving forward for you and your child. It sounds a lot easier than it really is, I know, however; you must keep your head towards the skies in order to pull through this difficult time.


By Tricia Goyer

teen moms, encouraging advice, tricia goyer, teen pregnancyWhen I was a teen mom I thought it was me against the world. I thought everyone would look down on me. I was sure every time someone pulled me aside to talk to me, I’d hear words of condemnation.

Instead, I was amazed how many people really cared about me. Time after time men and women encouraged me, and I clung to their advice.

I asked my Facebook friends, “If you were having coffee with a young mom today, what encouragement would you give her?” Below is what they said. I hope you will be pleased!

Your past in no way defines your future. Your path (if you take God’s hand for the journey) is like the first gleam of dawn, growing ever brighter until the full light of day! —Proverbs 4:18 Tanya

The way things seem now will not be that way forever. God’s TRUTH is far different from the facts we see with our narrow scope of what we think of reality. The Israelites were standing at the edge of the sea with Pharaoh’s army right behind them. Fact: They weren’t gonna make it. Truth: God made a way!!!! Denise

That children of single parents can be found and used by God. God is the father to the fatherless. Pia

I was a teen mom at the age of 18. God can and will redeem the past into a wonderful future. God is the author of a good future. He will provide the way for it to happen. I never knew if we would make it as a couple being only 18 and 16 years old (my hubby), but here we are 30 years later and more in love than ever before. God is a good God. Angie

Being a mom so young forces you to grow up early. That is not a bad thing. Finishing school and caring for your child become your focus. I know a sweet girl who is now a successful school teacher. My grandson is 14. His dad and mom are great parents. Cindy

You can be a great mom at your age, as well! You will make mistakes, but seeking encouraging friends, looking for mentors, and educating yourself will make you a better mom than you thought you could be. I was a teen mom, and I messed up a lot of the times, but it goes by so fast and you will suddenly have teenagers yourself! Martha

Tricia Goyer Buttona Encouraging Advice for Teen Moms

Don’t let anyone else influence your decisions. Too many people are absolutely certain they know what is best for another person. It’s OK to listen to advice, but, in the end, only you know what is best for you and your child. P.S. I was not a teen mom, but I was single when I became a mom and there are still days now, ten years later, when I feel inadequate and immature. We are all human. What teen mothers need more than anything else is support, acceptance, and love! JC

Now, how about you? What advice would you give to another young mom?


Luke 24:45 (NIV)
Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.

Father God, You are the source of my life. You are the strength that I long for.  Holy Spirit, I open myself to love. I open myself to joy. I open myself to courage. I open myself to receive Your guidance and wisdom in this moment. I open myself to all that life has to offer.  I open myself to the richness and full list of relationships.  I open myself to service. I open myself as a humble servant to Your way. I open myself and allow the Holy Spirit to move and guide my every step today.  I open myself to listen and hear that still small voice within me.  I open myself to know that I am safe, sane and secure. I open myself to the abundant riches of this life. I thank You, God, for opening me so that I may receive all that is Yours. God, I thank You and I glorify You for everything that I am. I give You praises for the life that has been so graciously handed to me. I honor and cherish my relationship with You, Holy Spirit.  I surrender, release and I let go and I let it be so. Amen.
Reverend Matt Cartwright
Source: Daily Stimu-Mail  from Iyanla Vanzant



prep: 10 min/ total: 2 hr 10 min/ servings total: 8 servings

 What You Need
2 cups   boiling water
1 pkg. (3 oz.) JELL-O Strawberry Flavor Gelatin
18 fresh strawberries, stemmed
2/3 cup   (filled to 2-qt. line) KOOL-AID Strawberry Flavor Sugar-Sweetened Soft Drink Mix, or any red flavor
Make It
ADD boiling water to gelatin mix; stir 2 min. until completely dissolved.
CUT strawberries in half.  Mash berries and drink mix in large bowl with fork. Stir in gelatin.
POUR into 8 (5-oz.) paper cups.
COVER cups with foil; insert wooden pop stick into center of each for handle.  Freeze 2 hours or until firm.
Twist-on-your-Pop Flavor
Mix and match this refreshing summer pop with your favorite flavor combination of JELL-O, KOOL-AID and fruit.

If you are new to this blog, please go back and read the posts dated Aug 12 & 14, 2013, in order to follow along with today’s post.

CONGRATULATIONS! You have now created a vision board of your dreams. Doesn’t it look good? Doesn’t it look achievable now that you can see it. Please have your vision board posted where you can easily see it daily. Now, I have to be honest with you. Everyone is not going to be excited about your vision board. Some people will tell you that your dreams no longer matter and that you no longer have a life. Please do not allow this hurtful words to penetrate into your heart.


Yes, your dreams still matter. Yes, you can still have a life. Yes, you can still succeed. Yes, you can make it out. YES, YES, YES! You are going to have to repeatedly tell yourself “Yes I Can” and mean it! This is something that you can share with your child no matter what age they are. You are showing them how to write their goals down, visualize their goals, and to believe in themselves even if nobody else does. You have just made a vital step in your life and motherhood.


The actions we take as parents affect our children one way or another. You have to believe in yourself. You have to try to see the good in every situation. You are going to have some tough times but yes, you can make it through. If God allowed it for me, then He can and will do the same or even greater for you. I’m praying for greater things to be accomplished in your life. You are now starting to take charge of your life by looking past your circumstances and seeing yourself succeed in life. I’m proud of you.


Take time this weekend to reflect on what you have done and enjoy this accomplishment! Look in the mirror and repeat this faith confession every morning:









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