A place of empowerment and encouragment for teen mothers

Monthly Archives: July 2013

Can I really be restored? I messed up really bad and I just don’t see my way out of this. Every time I turn around all I hear are negative things. I see others who didn’t make it so what makes me any different? You are different because you are not them. Your destiny is not tied up into another human being. Whatever happened to them does not have to be your story. Yes, you can be restored. Restoration means bringing back to a former position or condition.

God wants you to come to Him just like you are and He will clean you up. You cannot do this on your own. Please do not try to do this on your own. You are going to need help from others, especially those who have a real relationship with God. You are not alone. Do not isolate yourself from those who really love you and want to help you. Lose the bad attitude and humble yourself. You have to keep in mind that the decisions you make will not only affect you but there is an innocent human being who is depending on you to get it together. This person doesn’t know your past. This person cannot judge you. This person only wants to love and be loved. They are depending on your restoration!

Don’t allow the label “teen mother” distract you from the bigger picture. This title is only temporary and by no means describes the whole you. Yes, I realize that this group of people are looked down on and criticized. The only way to prove a critic wrong is not to stay where they have put you at. What does that mean? They say teen mothers do not graduate high school or go on to college. They end up at minimum wage jobs and on welfare the majority of their life. What you do is finish high school and that takes away that description of you. You also go on to college and graduate with your Associates, Bachelors, Masters, Doctorate and even Juris Doctorate if you so choose. That takes away another label.

You then get a nice paying job because of your degree and that takes away another label. Now, that you are making a pretty decent living you no longer qualify for welfare. Taking away yet another label of you while in the process. Words are powerful and can be very damaging but even more powerful are your actions to those words. You can let those words define you or turn those words into a lie. It’s all up to you.

People’s opinions of you do not have to become your reality unless you allow it. Don’t get stuck on where you are right now that you can’t get to where you should be later. Along this journey you will have to seek your own inspiration and not depend so much on other people to inspire you. You are going to have to reclaim your life back. You are going to have to make some stuff decisions. It is going to be very vital to your success that you first depend on God to lead you and that you have a support system.

Support systems are people who will encourage you, pray for you and even lend a helping hand when needed. You cannot do this alone. I know that you may feel alone and that no one knows or understand how you feel but you still have to find someone that you can trust to talk to along with your support system. Your emotional health is just as important as anything else. You have to believe that you too can be successful in life. We all make wrong turns in life that can get us off track a bit but finding your way back to the right path is a must if you want to really make it in life. This is not your end but only a new beginning. Restoration is in your house now you must help do the work.


We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield

Psalm 33:20 (NLT)

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.

Psalm 62:5 (NLT)

But I will keep on hoping for your help; I will praise you more and more. Psalm 71:14 (NLT)

 

There is still hope for you! There is still hope for your child! There is still hope for your future because it lies in the hands of God! Your present circumstances do not diminish your hope. The opinion and comments of others cannot take away your hope. The Lord is your hope and your shield. Put all your hope in God and not in man.

God will never let you down. God has not given up on you and will never give up on you. Don’t you ever give up on yourself or your child. Times will get tough but no matter what keep your hope in God alive. There will be days when your situation may seem and feel hopeless but it’s not. When those days come and they will, you have push a little harder to make it through.

You have to remind yourself of all the things you want for your child and how you want a better life for them. Think about how you want a better life for yourself and keep pushing forward. God shall supply every last one of your needs according to His will. Do not lose hope. Do not lose sight of the bigger picture. God is bigger than any problem you will ever have or face in this life.

Father, strengthen my hope in you more and more each day. You are my help and my shield. I will not allow the opinions of others to be a stumbling block in my life but instead I choose to trust you with all my heart. Your word says that you will never leave me alone. Thank you for being my hope. In Jesus name, amen!


I am a CHOSEN woman of God

I am predestined to succeed

I am intelligent beyond measure

I am more than what the eye can see

I am a CHOSEN woman of God


The teenager
Teenage mothers think and act like teenagers. Just like any other teenager, they can be self-centered and may find it difficult to plan for the future. So some of the topics addressed in our Lifeskills Workshops deal with the joys and frustrations of being a teenager. Boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, getting along with parents, and what to do after high school are just a few topics that would provide valuable information to any teenager.

If teenager topics are not discussed and this role of the teenage mother is ignored, teen mothers may conclude that in order to relate to us, they must act more grown up than they are. While that may sound good at first, there is a down side to acting too mature too quickly. When a teenage mother is not given the opportunity to address issues that deal with her age, she will push being a teenager to the side for a while. However, she may revert back to teenage behaviors or situations later in life, often to the detriment of her now older child.

The mother
Our society views motherhood as something special. We believe mothers should provide security and stability for their children. A mother must sacrifice many of her own wants and desires for the benefit of her child. But most teens have not reached this level of maturity. Lifeskills Workshops may be the very thing she needs to provide her with the information that will help her become the stable, mature mother her child requires.

Teenage mothers may want to be good mothers but lack parenting skills. Therefore, a Lifeskills Workshop should provide information on nutrition, child discipline, and other topics that will help teenage mothers rear and provide for their children.

The student
Often, teenage mothers are still in high school. Finishing high school is a critical step toward independence for the teen mom. A Lifeskills Curriculum should explain and encourage good study skills and time management.

The employee
Addressing the employee role for the teenage mother may be difficult for many of us. Many believe that it would be best if the mothers did not work and instead spent the majority of their time with their children. While this may be the ideal situation, the fact remains that many teenage mothers must work in order to provide for their children. In order to help those mothers who will need to work, the Lifeskills Workshop can cover such topics as: how to find quality childcare, how to dress for a job interview, how to interview for a job, and how to become a reliable and valued employee.

The seeker
Finally, most teenage mothers are either unsaved or have wandered away from Christ. That they have come to your center indicates that they are seeking solutions to their problems. The primary problem for these teen moms is spiritual, even though they may not realize it at first. The teenage mother’s logistical needs may be genuine, but dealing with those logistical needs alone will not solve the primary problem. The Lifeskills Curriculum needs to include the Gospel message. The teenage mother must be reconciled to Christ before she can experience the healing that comes from forgiveness and find the new purpose and direction she needs. She may choose to respond to the explanation of her need for Christ, or she may disregard it. Nevertheless, God’s Word is powerful, and she may respond to the Gospel message years later.

 

By Christa M. March

http://www.atcmag.com/v5n1/article4.asp


“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.  But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT)

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)

Forgive means to cease to feel resentment against the one who offended you. The only way to truly love is to forgive. You have to forgive yourself and forgive those who have done you any wrong. If the father of your child chooses not to take his responsibility as a parent serious, then forgive him and be the best mother that you can be for your child. You cannot make anyone do something that they do not want to do. Don’t waste your time and energy trying to make him do right or fussing and fighting with him or his family. Time is precious and you need to spend it loving your child. Forgiveness is not always easy but it is a must in order to live a free life. Forgiveness can free you from resentment. You don’t want to pass on those negative feelings to your child. You don’t want to say mean things to your child about their father. It will only come back to hurt you in the end. Forgiveness frees you from taking out your frustration on your child which is easy to do. Choose to live in peaceably for the sake of your child. Be the bigger person. Be the better person. Be the forgiving person.

Faith Confession:

I am a FORGIVER

I shall not hold grudges, seek revenge nor have resentment

I shall live peaceably for my child and my emotional well being

I shall be the bigger and better person

I am free because I am a forgiver


Proverbs 29:15 (NLT)

“The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother”

As mothers it is our responsibility to discipline our children in love. We don’t have to beat them in order for them to know right from wrong. We are to correct them and show them the right way. Children cannot discipline themselves and when left to raise themselves they will bring you shame. We must have a stern voice that is still full of love. They must know their role as children and know our role as their mother. We are parents first and foremost. Being a child’s friend will not help them in the long run and they will lose their respect for us.

Children do not know what is best for them. That’s where we come in as adults. We must seek wisdom from God in how to correctly discipline our children. What works for one child may not work for another. Trying to mimic what you see one mother doing to her child may not work when dealing with your own child. God will guide us in this area if we seek His help.

Our children must know that we discipline them because we love them not because they are bad children. It is for their good and safety. We have to communicate better with our children and let them know that because they broke a rule this is the consequence. They need to know that for every action whether it be good or bad there are consequences that come with it. Remember discipline your child in love. Try not to discipline them when you are upset or angry. You may end doing something that you will regret later. Everyday tell your child that you love with a hug and a kiss.

Father, I ask your help in this journey called motherhood. I need guidance and wisdom on how to discipline my child the right way. Help me to stand firm on my rules and never compromise your word. Help me to be consistent in my disciplining. Help me to discipline in love. Give me self control and show me the way. In Jesus name, amen!


Proverbs 1:10 (NLT)

My child, if sinners entice you, turn your back on them!

 

There are people whose only motive is to see you self destruct. It doesn’t matter how they accomplish this goal as long as it is completed. Sometimes they come in the form of family members, friends, enemies, coworkers and even children. The enemy will use whatever willing vessel is available. We always have to be on guard not in a negative way but we have to protect ourselves from the enemy. We have to know when to walk way and when to fight. At times our walking away can be more powerful than engaging in the situation at hand. We have to have on the armour of God at all times.

Now there is a difference when you are assisting someone in order that they might find their way in life but you better be sure that the Holy Spirit is leading you. Examine the situation and see whether or not you are spending more time trying to build them up than you are with your own relationship with God? Some people will deliberately do negative things because they know that you will drop everything and come running to their rescue and we don’t realize that we are the main ones getting hurt. You can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. We can bail people out time and time again but we cannot make them live right. We need to intercede on their behalf to the Father and allow Him to transform them from the inside out. Sometimes tough love is necessary but it doesn’t mean that we love them any less.

 

Father, I need discernment to know when to walk way and when to extend a helping hand. I don’t want to be enticed by the enemy. I don’t want to be manipulated by the enemy but I want to walk in my Kingdom authority. Lord, I need wisdom and a greater understanding of your word and how to deal with people. I need you to help me every step of the way. Lead me and order my steps. Lord, take control right now and start the transformation process. I thank you in advance for all things are working for my good. In Jesus name, amen!



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